Make no one responsible for your happiness
Wednesday, 15 July 2009 17:05
Over this month of July, I'm giving each of the Sunday talks at my Spiritual Center on the topic of Freedom.
One of the secrets to freedom is that we have the power of choice. Because each of us has our own free will, we get to choose whatever experience we want, whether that's freedom or bondage, joy or misery, abundance or lack.
But one of the biggest mistakes that many people make is that you look for your freedom and your happiness outside of you! And you measure your success based on your achievement of certain things that you THINK will make you happy, free and complete.
It's a mentality that starts for many at a young age. "Once I get my first car, then I'll be free. Once I graduate from school, I'll be free. Once I get that relationship, that job, the kids, a real job that makes me happy, then I'll be free." It ends up with the statement of "Once I retire, then I'll be free and happy!" And then once you reach that point, "Once I complete everything on my bucket list, then I'll finally be free and happy!"
The problem embedded in this is the constant searching for, or acquiring, that certain something or someone that you think will make you happy. But for some reason, that feeling of happiness is usually momentary. Yeah, you can think back to that moment and how good you felt when it happened, but in the present moment, there's a feeling of unfulfillment.
The key to your freedom, and to your happiness, is actually recognizing that at each and every moment you are free!
Regardless of whatever the circumstance is, even if it seems like you're not free, no one can take your freedom away from you. Yes, someone may incarcerate you and limit you in a physical space. But no one can take away the inherent freedom to choose your experience in each and every moment. Look at Nelson Mandela. He was in prison for 27 years (during which time he earned a college degree)! After he was released, he became the President of South Africa and won a Nobel Peace Prize for his work in dismantling apartheid. Do you think he recognized his own experience of freedom while in his prison cell in Robben Island?
Given your free will, you can choose to experience whatever it is you want!
What that means is that in the end, no one is responsible for your own happiness. You are responsible for your own happiness because it is your own free will to choose that. You don't need a partner to make you happy. Or a new car. Or the latest flat-screen television. Or the gay cruise in the Mediterranean. I'm not saying you don't bring these into your life, but they are not the source of your happiness.
On the other side of the coin, no one is responsible for your unhappiness. This means dropping any story you have that keeps you as a victim. Yes, someone may have hurt you. Yes, you may be broke. But you are not a victim. You get to choose your experience and how you grow from your experiences.
If you always waited for someone else to grant you your happiness, for each and every moment of your life, you're likely to be disappointed.
So open to the idea that your free will and your ability to choose your experiences is one of your greatest gifts!
How could your life look different if you made choices from a place of happiness, of love, of power? Leave your comments. I'd love to know!
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peace,
Beandrea