The Teachings of Drama (or is it dharma?)
Thursday, 06 August 2009 20:14
After years of spiritual practice...daily meditation, prayer, affirmations, spiritual study, spiritual community...I had an experience yesterday that brought me right back to reality.
There was a mix-up in communication in putting together an event, and the people involved (including me) were operating under certain and different assumptions. Needless to say, there were some hurt feelings involved.
I hate it when these things happen. I don't like hurt feelings. And so I went into a mini-tailspin of feeling bad for what happened, wondering what I could do to help rectify the situation and generally beating myself up.
But then, something happened. As I sat there having my pity party, I was suddenly filled with a feeling of calm and love. And from that place, I realized the solution. I decided to take responsibility for my feelings and actions, and I decided to let the other persons involved be responsible for their feelings and actions. And then the drama was gone.
There's a point of spiritual growth and insight when you realize that drama in your life can be your biggest teacher.
Drama happens when something happens in your life out of the blue that you didn't expect, and it brings up a whole host of crazy, turbulent emotions inside you!
How it shows up can be high drama or low drama, but drama nonetheless.
Some examples of what might be high drama are...finding out that your faithful partner has been cheating on you...walking to your car and finding out it's been towed away...or coming to work and being notified that today is your last day.
Some examples of what might be low drama are...using the last sheets of toilet paper and realizing there's no more toilet paper in the house...going to watch a movie and finding out that it's sold out...or ordering a menu item at a restaurant and being told that they just ran out.
But here's the thing about drama. It's only drama if you say it's drama. And whether it's high or low drama depends on your attachments with what's going on. What you consider drama may be another person's blessing.
Someone could get laid off from work and say, "Thank God! I've been hating that job and now I get to pursue my dream!"
Someone could find out the blockbuster movie is sold out and then watch the independent film that becomes their life's inspiration.
Or someone could find their car towed away and simply say, "okay, I gotta deal with this."
Drama becomes a great teacher when it points you to where you're emotionally charged. When you're emotionally charged, it means that you have a need that's not being met. When you touch the underlying need, you have the ability to uncover the underlying belief behind that need. It's then you come to a point of choice to decide whether or not to keep that belief, or replace it with another one.
Let me break it down for you. Say you are experiencing drama with a friend who owes you a lot of money and hasn't paid you back. And this is really making you angry because you've approached the friend several times, and no matter how many times they've said they'll pay you back, they still haven't done it. The underlying need not being met is probably more than the money itself. There could a feeling of broken promises of friendship, and breaking the trust between you. And so the deep down, underlying belief that you have might be that your friend doesn't really value your friendship the way that you thought.
When you come to that underlying belief, it's important to ask yourself if it's really true. What we believe is the case might not actually be the reality of what's going on. What could be happening is that your friend is so embarrassed and ashamed of not being able to pay you back the whole amount for whatever reason, and all they might need is a simple repayment plan. And if you both come to agreement that's all that's needed and follow through with it, then poof, the drama is gone!
So next time you're experiencing drama in your life, say this to yourself, "Okay, drama! What's the lesson in this for me? Teach me about more about how I could open up more and see the truth of everyone involved."
That's when your drama can then lead you to your dharma, and open you to the greatest teachings of life through your own experience.
Where do you experience drama in your life? What are the potential teachings for you? Share your comments. I'd love to hear them!
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Very well written..