“I just got this great idea! It’s about _____________. But the thing is, I’m not sure it could work.”
“Why aren’t you sure it could work?” I asked her.
“Well…” She paused, now seeming a bit tentative. “I told another friend about it and he asked me why I would want to do something so risky. I’m excited about this project but now I’m not so sure it’s the right thing for me to do.”
In that moment my heart broke for her. You see, I’ve heard this same situation come up many times with my clients.
Maybe you’ve experienced this scenario yourself.
Here's the scene: You have this idea to try something new. Maybe it’s a new business venture. Perhaps it’s an impulse to travel to some place faraway all by yourself. Or possibly you have the urge to explore making a change to your career.
Then, with all your excitement, you start sharing the idea with others before you have the chance to let it fully digest with you.
And the not-so-helpful comments from others are what start to shake you.
- “Why would you do that? That’s not who you are”
- “Gosh, that sounds like a big risk. Are you sure you can handle that?”
- “Oh, I’ve heard of that. Someone’s already done it. You’re not doing anything new.”
In many cases, those comments seep into your own consciousness. Self-doubt start to creep in. Even worse, some of those comments from others all of a sudden became comments you tell yourself.
What happens to the dream and the excitement?
For a lot of people, if you let the unhelpful comments get to you, you put your dreams on the back burner. Months and years go by. Then that dream comes back to visit you every once in a while. And you look back with regret and ask, “What if I had done that? Where would I be today?”
Your dreams are precious.
In my client sessions, many people share with me what’s on their hearts. Sometimes what they share is the first time they've said it out loud. I take everything they say to me and hold it with absolute care and sacredness.
And here’s what I tell them:
“Be mindful who you share your new vision with," I offer. "Your new vision is like a new baby."
Like a baby, your vision isn’t always fully formed. Care and nurturing are needed before you share your new-born vision with the world.
Most people wouldn’t expose their newborn to the cold and the wind. You first need to give your baby vision some time to grow.
And if you want to share your vision with someone, imagine that it’s like having someone hold and care for a baby.
Only allow those people you trust and who support you to be with your vision, and make sure to tell them you don’t want to hear anything at this point that would make you start to doubt your dreams.
With all this in mind, here is how you can take this week's teaching into your coaching assignment for the week:
- Do you have an idea that excites you that is starting to bubble up in your mind and in your heart?
Example: I’ve had this idea to explore a new career. Even though I’ve been successful in my industry for the past 15 years, it doesn’t feel as satisfying as it once did. I’d really like to try something new, something totally different than what I’ve done in the past.
- What can you do to nurture this idea with love and care?
Example: For now I’d like to keep it close to my heart. I’d like to journal a bit about what’s coming up for me and what kinds of new work I’d like to explore.
- Can you think of who you would trust so much that they would care for your vision as if it were their own? Are there people you know you wouldn’t talk to about this at this point?
Example: I have one friend I completely trust. I know that when I talk with her, I first need to tell her this dream is new and I only want to hear supportive comments. I want to make sure I care for this dream. And yes, there definitely are people I would not share this with.
All these questions are ways to bring you greater awareness and support to your heart’s dreams. Like a newborn baby, your dreams, and you, deserve all the care and loving in the world. Give your emerging vision time to grow.
And it’s okay to give yourself permission to be discerning of who you share your dreams with. Claim your heart as a safe haven, a sacred and loving environment, for your dreams to unfold.
Affirmation: I give time, space and love for my new dreams to grow.
I’d love to hear how today’s post landed with you, and if you had any a-ha’s or insights. Please leave a comment below.