#1 Reason Why One Workshop Participant Succeeds Over Another

Friday, 17 April 2009 22:19 Last Updated on Friday, 17 April 2009 22:55 Written by Joselito Laudencia

The other day, I led a teleseminar for gay guys who want to get unstuck in finances, career & relationships. One of the questions I posed was this:

Suppose two people go to a workshop. Both go thru the same exercises, they both learn the same information. The difference, though, is that one leaves the workshop and becomes wildly successful, while the other one goes home and doesn't really change in their lifestyle.

What is the critical difference between these two people? Any guesses?

The responses ranged from "It's due to their drive" or "it's their personality" or "one's smarter than the other."

After a few seconds, I revealed the answer: The difference depends on who each person hangs around with.

Then I shared this quote by Jim Rohn: "You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with."

Shock. Groan. Gasps. "Oh my god, I need some new friends!" were the responses.

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Grow Into Your Success

Thursday, 09 April 2009 22:33 Last Updated on Friday, 10 April 2009 20:07 Written by Joselito Laudencia

One of the questions I get asked quite often is "How do I get (this particular thing) in my life?"

You can fill in the blank with whatever you imagine...more money, a loving relationship, a fulfilling job, more fit...you name it.

My most common response to this question is "What do you have to change about yourself in order to have that in your life?"

This response usually sets people back because they're expecting to be taught a cookie-cutter, step-by-step system that they can plug into and get the desired results. But if you really want something in your life that you currently don't have, then it usually means that you have to step outside of your comfort zone. And stepping outside your comfort zone means changing something about you!

One aspect of success, and happiness, is measured by your ability to make known progress towards a desired result. How we make progress is determined by how much we are willing to change, to be and do something different.

Same activity = same results. Different activity = different results.

But sometimes the gap between where we are and where we want to be seems so great. That's why it's important to embrace this principle to Grow Into Your Success.

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Gay Marriage: A Personal Story

Wednesday, 04 March 2009 18:00 Last Updated on Wednesday, 04 March 2009 19:06 Written by Joselito Laudencia

This week, the battle for gay marriage heats up.

Oral arguments are being made both for and against Proposition 8 (the California voter-approved initiative that bans gay marriage) before the California Supreme Court. Supporters on both sides are holding rallies, touring the media circuit, and making arguments both on moral and legal grounds. At stake is not only the future of same-sex couples to marry in the state of California, but also the validity of the thousands of same-sex marriages that happened between June and November 2008.

One of those marriages is mine.

My partner, Art, and I first got married on February 16, 2004, when San Francisco's Mayor Newsom allowed same-sex couples to marry.

We were already registered domestic partners, at the city, county and state levels. But when we heard that we actually had the opportunity to get married, we jumped on it! We went to City Hall the day before on Sunday, February 15, 2004. But the line was huge! After two hours of waiting in a line that wrapped around the city blocks, we were told that no more marriages were happening and we went home.

The next morning we got up at 5 am and made our way back to City Hall. The weather was miserably cold and wet, but we were led by our hearts to be there to proclaim our love. When we got there at 6 am, there were already hundreds of people in line, umbrellas in hand, shivering cold, but smiles and joy across their faces.

After 7 hours of waiting outside (with wonderful supporters who brought warm socks, snacks, drinks, anything and everything for all of us waiting to get married), we made it inside and said the words that I never thought I would say..."With this ring, I thee wed..."

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Gay Spirituality: What to let go during the season of Lent

Thursday, 26 February 2009 20:15 Last Updated on Wednesday, 04 March 2009 19:08 Written by Joselito Laudencia

Last night, I led a special meditation and prayer service to mark Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent.

If you're like many gay men, any talk of religion, spirituality, God and Christian traditions brings up a lot of feelings of bad juju. Especially with last year's Proposition 8 campaign to ban gay marriage in California, you've seen the bible and the pulpit being used to condemn our very existence and the love that we share.

As a gay life coach, I've worked with gay men who've grown up with gay shame and who've tried to hide their true self in order to fit in. And mostly this is due to growing up in a household where the word of God just said it was so.

But being a gay man, you know that just because someone tells you "what is so" isn't always what really is. And you've taken the steps to start to reclaim who you really are, no matter what anyone says.

The reality for you as a gay man is this:

The process of coming out and being who you truly are is a never ending process.

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