Abundant Good Coaching & Training

Why change can feel so hard

9/19/2019

Have you ever decided to make a change in your life and then, for whatever reason, found it really hard to make the change long-lasting?

If your answer is yes, you're not alone.

When I work with my clients who want to create a new habit, one of the metaphors I often use is a rocket ship blasting off from planet earth into outer space.

In the language of metaphor, imagine you are the rocket, and outer space represents the destination of your new habit.

In order for the rocket to make it to outer space, it needs enough fuel and energy to get it going.

At what stage do you think the rocket uses most of its fuel?

If you guessed at the very beginning, you are absolutely correct.

In the very first few seconds and in that first minute, the rocket needs to expend enough fuel to counter the force of gravity that keeps it on planet earth.

Gravity is strong, and so a lot of fuel and energy are needed.

Sometimes it seems like the rocket might not even be moving at all, even though all the work of fiery power and billowing smoke is present.

But then, at some point, the rocket moves an inch.

Then it moves a foot.

And then it moves a few yards.

Soon enough, the rocket gains momentum and moves with more seeming ease into the sky.

The rocket blasting into outer space is an apt analogy for when you move to create a new habit for yourself.

When you decide you want to create a new habit in your life, you’re charting a new destination (outer space) for yourself.

The new habit could be meditating for 10 minutes every morning, or eating more vegetables in every meal, or cleaning out your email inbox at the start and end of each day, or going to one networking event each week to meet new people, or whatever you choose.

After you decide on your new habit, your next step is to start taking action.

This is where the energy and fuel are needed.

Say you decide to meditate for 10 minutes every morning.

The action could be you setting your alarm to wake up 10 minutes earlier and you sitting down somewhere comfortably where you won’t fall back asleep.

As you sit in meditation, monkey mind can show up and attempt to distract you.

“Go back to your comfy bed,” it says. “Why don’t you just start tomorrow?”

Yet, you persevere and stay committed to finish the whole 10 minutes.

Your perseverance and your staying committed are your initial fuel being expended, keeping you focused and on track to the destination of a new habit of meditation.

As you continue this new activity of getting up and meditating each morning, there are moments it might feel extra challenging as other distractions show up.

“I already meditated for the last 3 days. I deserve a break for this one day!” you might tell yourself.

Or, “I have an early morning meeting to get to, and I won’t have time for the morning meditation,” could be another thought that pops into your head.

You might have a co-worker that you told about your new pursuit, and they say to you, “Gosh, that sounds so hard. I can never do that!” And what your co-worker said makes you wonder whether your morning meditation is worth it in the first place.

All of these distractions, whether they’re your own thoughts or what other people tell you, are a symbol of the gravity wanting to keep you from rising, to remain on planet earth so that you stay within the boundaries of the person you’ve always been.

Your ego wants you to be the safe and secure person who doesn’t change up your routine.

The ego thinks going into outer space is scary and unknown. In its own way, the ego is trying to protect you.

The people in your life who question why you’re making any changes also like you for who they think you are.

When you start to make changes to your life for the better, your efforts nudge others to look at their own lives and wonder why they aren’t making any changes themselves.

Comfortability and playing it safe are like gravity, exerting its own force to keep you in place.

That’s why you need to keep exerting energy in the direction of your vision, despite any distractions, even if it looks like you’re not going anywhere.

Eventually, like the rocket, you’ll move an inch.

The meditation becomes easier and ten minutes seem to fly by.

Then you’ll move a foot.

You start looking forward to your meditation and starting off your day this way.

You’ll move a few yards.

You can’t imagine not doing your meditation. You might even think about making it fifteen minutes instead of ten.

And soon enough, you’ll have created enough momentum so that you’re soaring into outer space, on to your destination.

With all this being said, I’m not making the argument that creating a new habit means it will be challenging and difficult for you.

Creating a new habit could actually be fun, easy and effortless.

What I am saying is, if you do happen to encounter those rough spots where it might seem easier to turn back to your old way of being, know that there’s a payoff when you keep on going.

And the payoff isn’t just creating a new habit that now serves you.

The payoff is also you expanding your own sense of what’s possible for you, because your sphere of what you believe you are equal to (known as your comfort zone) is now expanded.

When you expand your sense of who you are, you create room in your consciousness for more good to show up.

Your sphere of possibility has grown.
Just as the rocket ship eventually moves with greater ease in space, you too get to experience a greater sense of spaciousness.

So my coaching question for you today is this: what new habit are you open to creating in your life?

Then, like the rocket, chart your course and blast away!

Abundant Blessings and Namaste.

**

I'd love to hear your thoughts about today's article. Please feel free to leave a comment below.

A little about me...

My unique ability is helping people figure out what’s really holding them back and to fully support them in a safe and sacred space, with the result of people feeling excited about life and believing they can claim the driver’s seat of their lives. I've been called the "Aha Whisperer."

If you’re feeling the need for support in creating a life filled with more spaciousness, purpose and joy, I offer a complimentary life coaching consultation that may provide you with the insight and resources you need in this moment. To learn more about this, click here.

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Your outer world mirrors your inner world

9/12/2019

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Years ago, in my early days of taking classes at my spiritual center in Oakland, California, my teacher made this odd statement:

“I can tell you what you believe just by visiting your house and looking around.”

I call it odd because at the time, I thought, how in the world could she know what I believe just by looking around my home?

Yet, the more I considered her statement, the more I realized how wise she was.

Think about your own home for a minute. If someone walked in and took a look around, what would they intuit about you?

Do you keep your place clean and organized, or are there places of untidiness?

What kinds of books or reading materials do you keep in your shelves?

What kinds of food do you have in your refrigerator and your cupboards?

What do you have on your walls, if anything?

The spiritual lesson she was teaching in class that day was that your environment mirrors your thoughts and beliefs.

If you valued living a healthier lifestyle, your kitchen most likely would reflect healthier kinds of foods.

If you had a strong belief in relationships, your home might be adorned with photos of family members and loved ones.

If you loved travel and adventure, you could have mementos of your travels speckled throughout your home.

If you followed a religious or spiritual tradition, you might find an altar, a crucifix or a book reflecting this.

Now, you might be asking yourself, how is this a spiritual lesson, that your environment mirrors your thoughts and beliefs?

Well, it starts to make more sense spiritually when you extend the idea that it’s not just your home that mirrors your thoughts and beliefs.

Your entire life is a reflection of what you truly believe.

In my life coaching work, I meet a number of people who feel unfulfilled with (and sometimes loathing) the work they do.

When I ask what’s stopping them from finding work that’s more fulfilling and meaningful, the usual response is, “I can’t leave my job. How will I pay my bills?”

The underlying belief is that this particular job is the only source of income to sustain them, and that they wouldn’t be able to find something else that supports them in this way.

This belief stops many from even looking at the possibility of other kinds of work.

Inner beliefs have a direct correlation to a person’s real life experiences.

In other words, your outer world is a mirror of your inner world.

Whether in your work, your home, your finances, your relationships, your health or in other areas of your life, what you experience and how you experience it reflect your own beliefs.

For example, if you spend time cultivating inner peace by meditating and reading uplifting books, most likely your life would reflect your ability to experience more peace in your daily life.

On the other hand, if your inner world feels chaotic and ungrounded, more than likely your outer life would reflect some level of turbulence.

That being said, if you’re not happy with what you are experiencing in your outer world, then the logical step would be to shift or change what’s happening in your inner world.

Change your beliefs, change your life.

I know it sounds simple, and possibly trite…a slogan that you can put on a bumper sticker.

Yet, some spiritual truths are really that simple.

And I get that it’s not always easy.

One of the first steps to changing your beliefs is to see what beliefs might be there in the first place.

Now, you might be wondering, “Well, how am I supposed to change if I don’t know what I believe?”

If you’re pondering this question, here’s an exercise for you.

Pick an aspect of your life that isn’t really working for you. It doesn’t have to be anything huge.

Some examples could be that you’re finding yourself so busy that you don’t have time to exercise, or you’re having problems with that one person in your office. It could be anything.

Then, spend some time asking the question, “What might be my beliefs about this situation?”

With the example of finding yourself too busy to exercise, one person might respond, “Well, I’m so busy because I have to work. That’s why I don’t have time to exercise. And work comes first because I have to pay the bills. But if I hear myself saying work comes first, then I guess I’m saying that my health comes second. Hmm…I didn’t realize that’s what I’m really believing but that’s how it’s showing up.”

No matter what comes up, see if you can have some compassion and non-judgment about the situation. Sometimes what arises might not be what you want to hear, but it’s still important to see emerges.

Then, you get to see whether those beliefs serve you or don’t serve you, and whether you want to keep those beliefs around or not.

When you consciously choose to let go of beliefs that no longer serve you, you can then choose to cultivate a new belief that better aligns with what you want to experience.

Here’s the spiritual truth: whatever you truly believe, the Universe says yes.

That’s because you and the Universe are not separate. All the Power, Love, Joy, Good and Possibility that is the nature of this Universe is your very nature as well.

Infinite and abundant good is always available to you. Always.

Yet, there's a caveat.

This good is available to you at the level that you believe that you can accept it and receive it.

This good is available to you at the level that you believe you are equal to it.

Your home reflects your beliefs.

Your life reflects your beliefs.

Imagine if you elevated your consciousness and you in your inner world truly believed that Power, Love, Joy, Good and Possibility are your inherent birthright.

Your outer world could do nothing but match the same high level of vibration of your inner world.

Then watch your home, and your life, shift to align to that greater good.

What a sight that would be to behold.

Abundant Blessings and Namaste.

**

I'd love to hear your thoughts about today's article. Please feel free to leave a comment below.

A little about me...

My unique ability is helping people figure out what’s really holding them back and to fully support them in a safe and sacred space, with the result of people feeling excited about life and believing they can claim the driver’s seat of their lives. I've been called the "Aha Whisperer."

If you’re feeling the need for support in creating a life filled with more spaciousness, purpose and joy, I offer a complimentary life coaching consultation that may provide you with the insight and resources you need in this moment. To learn more about this, click here.

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Be willing to be surprised

9/5/2019

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Have you ever set your intention to experience something, and then all of a sudden, out of the blue, it happens? And you’re caught by surprise?

During one of my recent coaching sessions, one of my clients set the intention that she wanted to be a public speaker. She felt this urgent calling to share her message and her ideas with the world.

Soon enough, a podcast host reached out to her to ask her to speak on her show…and my client didn’t even tell the host that she was looking to do more public speaking.

Another client shared with me his desire to find new work that felt more impactful and aligned with where his heart was calling him to serve.

Out of the blue, an offer to apply to a job showed up, one that fit the parameters of exactly what he was looking for and that also felt exciting to him.

For some reason, surprising experiences like these are common both with my individual coaching clients and with the students who participate in my workshops and classes (especially my Vision Board workshop!).

A couple years ago, during my Re-Write Your Money Story program, all of the participants had delightful surprises show up. One client had most of his trip’s expenses to Bali covered, while another person was offered a free hot tub for his backyard!

I remember saying to myself at the time, “I don’t know why these surprises keep on showing up for my clients, but something must be working.”

And I didn’t know why, until recently.

In the book, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One, Dr. Joe Dispenza writes about these kinds of surprises.

Dispenza notes that these surprises are actually signs of your growth and the expansion of your consciousness.

He makes this point: Say you want to experience something in your life and you know exactly how it’s going to happen, and it ends up happening just the way you planned it. When this happens, Dispenza argues that you’re not really growing as much as you could.

You see, when things unfold in this pre-determined way, you most likely came up with the plans based on how you’ve experienced something similarly in the past, or based on pre-conceived notions of how things were supposed to happen.

On the other hand, when you’re surprised by an outcome, it’s most likely an indication that you didn’t know what was going to happen or you didn’t believe it was going to happen.

The surprise is a sign that you expanded your understanding of what’s possible.

Your surprise creates new neural pathways in your brain that help you open to possibilities.

The surprise gets you out of a routine or a rut, and invites you to think about your life differently.

One affirmation I experimented with many years ago was this: “I am open to delightful surprises today.”

(At first my affirmation was “I am open to surprises today,” but I realized that I only wanted delightful surprises!)

Each morning, I would say my affirmation and set the intention to be surprised at some point in my day.

Sometimes I would purposefully look out for the surprises, saying to myself, “Okay, where are you now, my delightful surprise? I haven’t experienced you yet!”

Other times I would forget that I came up with that affirmation. Inevitably, though, something delightful would happen that day, and I would be reminded about my affirmation.

Here’s the thing, too. The surprise and delight don’t have to be ground-breaking or huge. They could be something seemingly small in the scheme of things.

I’ll give you an example of what happened to me this morning.

As I walked to my co-working space this morning, I made a mental note to speak to the support staff to see if they could buy oat milk to have available for our coffee, in addition to the half-and-half, soy and almond milk we already have.

(FYI, oat milk isn’t very common in the United States right now. I first tasted oat milk in Europe last year and have been looking for it ever since I came back. Then I discovered that Target started selling it recently, so now I’m a happy camper!)

After I made my mental note to make this request, I walked over to get my cup of coffee and, lo and behold, there was a carton of oat milk sitting right there in the refrigerator!

Surprise and delight!

Here’s the spiritual truth:

The Universe wants you to experience more good in your life, because that is its nature. Life is abundantly good, and it is always seeking to express more of that good through you!

What stops you from experiencing more good in your life are your own limits to what you think you deserve.

And here’s the secret formula:

Your job is to get clear on “what” you want and to up-level your consciousness so that you believe you are “equal” to “what” you want. It’s then up to the Universe to take care of the details for “how” it shows up.

Sometimes the Universal “how” shows up as inspirational ideas for you to take action.

Other times it shows up as actual people “out of the blue” offering you new opportunities or insights.

When you plant the seed of your intention into the field of infinite possibilities and when you believe you are equal to those possibilities, you open to the myriad ways that good can show up, many of which are probably ways you might not have ever imagined.

For your assignment this week, play around with the idea of being willing to be surprised, and being equal to the great surprises in store for you.

That’s it. And watch as delightful surprises begin showing up right before your eyes.

Abundant Blessings and Namaste.

**

I'd love to hear your thoughts about today's article. Please feel free to leave a comment below.

A little about me...

My unique ability is helping people figure out what’s really holding them back and to fully support them in a safe and sacred space, with the result of people feeling excited about life and believing they can claim the driver’s seat of their lives. I've been called the "Aha Whisperer."

If you’re feeling the need for support in creating a life filled with more spaciousness, purpose and joy, I offer a complimentary life coaching consultation that may provide you with the insight and resources you need in this moment. To learn more about this, click here.

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