There's a cost to not living life on your terms

One of the key lessons I shared in my recent “Living Life Unapologetically” Signature Talk is that there’s a cost to you not living life on your own terms.

I see this “cost” so often when I meet with people who are interested in my spiritual life coaching services.

A couple years ago, someone named Jesse came to see me after meeting me at a social event. When we sat down, she unloaded a whole torrent of pain and anguish.

“I don’t know how I got here,” she told me. “I took this job years ago as a stepping stone to doing what I really wanted to do, but somewhere along the way, ten years just flew by. TEN YEARS!!!!”

“I hate my job. It sucks the life out of me,” Jesse grumbled. “I’m stressed out all the time, I’m fighting with my partner, and now my doctor tells me that I might have an ulcer. I can’t take this anymore, but I don’t know what to do. I’ve invested so much time and energy in this company. If I really did what I wanted to do, I’d be starting all over again from scratch. I can’t do that either!”

What became clear as I continued in my conversation with Jesse is that she had this idea of how she was going to live her life, but somewhere along the way she veered off her path.

And now, she was paying the price.

The “cost” to not living your life on your own terms can show up in different ways.

The cost could be to your health, where you get sick, you get stressed out, you get dead tired and feel no energy to do anything except watch tv when you get home.

Some people try to numb the deadening feeling by turning to things that help them forget, like drinking, or drugs, or food, or porn, or gambling.

The cost could be to your relationships, where you find yourself having more fights with those that are near and dear to you, or you find that you don’t have any time for any meaningful relationships.

The cost could be to your finances, where you turn to shopping therapy to buy happiness through things.

The cost could be to your career, where you do work that doesn’t feed you, and so the world is left waiting for you to share your true gifts and talents.

And sometimes the cost could be actual harm and violence, to yourself or to other people. Just turn on the news and see this playing out in communities and places all over the world.

As you can see, there really is a cost to merely existing, not really living life fully.

Yet, despite all this, the cost is not a life sentence, meaning you are not doomed to stay this way for the rest of your life if you don’t want to.

There is a way out. And the way out is to press the STOP button, and hit RESET.

Pressing the STOP button means making a choice and a commitment to stop living life on auto-pilot.

It means stopping the habits, the activities and the relationships that drain you and leave you feeling numb and lifeless.

It also means stopping any excuses that you don’t have a choice in the matter, because you do.

Once you STOP, then you can press the RESET button.

RESET means getting your life back in alignment with the truth of who you are.

Pressing the RESET button is about getting clear on and committing to nurture the habits, activities and relationships that give you energy, vibrancy and life.

It also means embracing your own power and your ability to make your own choices, especially in the face of others who try to steer you off your path.

Jesse ended up signing on as a life coaching client. We got her clear on the kind of work she really wanted to do, as well as defining what her other areas of life could look like if she was living it just the way she wanted.

Recently, she shared with me that her life feels completely different from how it was before we worked together.

In some strange way, she felt that she was now a “grown up.”

“I feel like I’m an adult now,” she stated to me with an unassuming confidence. “I’m more empowered in my decisions, and my life is on track.”

What was possible for Jesse is possible for you, and for me, and for every one of us.

If you feel like you are living life fully and unapologetically, a huge congratulations and a high-five to you!

But if you’re not living life on your terms, and you’re experiencing the negative and unsustainable costs, I encourage you to explore the idea that you can choose another path. 

You can always reach out to me if you need help getting started.

My dream is that we all support each other to live life on our own terms, unapologetically.

Imagine if we all lived our lives fully and expansively as our true selves. How awesome of a world that would be!

This world of vibrancy and vitality is possible.

Are you willing to play your part to bring this world into being?

Abundant Blessings and Namaste.

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I'd love to hear your thoughts about today's article. Please feel free to leave a comment below.

And...If you know of anyone in the Los Angeles area who can use some support in living life on their own terms, I'll be holding my 3-hour Living Life Unapologetically Signature Workshop in downtown Los Angeles on Saturday, July 27, 2019. Click here to learn more about it: https://living-life-unapologetically-workshop.eventbrite.com